A Bear Of Very Little Brain (and an update on how not procrastinating is going)

I have included here a picture of Winnie The Pooh because he is, famously, a bear of very little brain, and that, I feel, is what I am. Not that I'm stupid, although I know for a fact that I can be. I wouldn't be applying to university if I were stupid.

However, I just had the personal revelation that the reason I like writing fiction is because it isn't grounded in reality. I have just been writing the second draft of an article for my English Language coursework, and I came to the conclusion that I had no idea what my point actually was. I was just writing about things - and the same happened with my language investigation, which is also part of the English Language coursework. I had no idea what I was doing, so I'd just annotate what I could in my transcripts, then write about them in my analysis without actually knowing what I was talking about until my almost last draft, when I finally linked all the bits under the theme named in my investigation's title and introduction.

Of course, it could be because I, stupidly, picked a difficult topic and then proceeded to pick transcripts that weren't actually very helpful to my results. Hence, I don't know what to analyse, and have no idea how to relate it to my 'media piece' - the bit of the coursework I'm doing now.

In the end I figured I'd give it to my teacher and hope she can make some sense of it. When she discussed my first draft with me earlier today, I got confused about what I was trying to mean, and she got confused about what she thought I meant. Hopefully my second draft is clearer.

And here we are again - I'm writing things, but I have no idea what my point actually is.

Oh well.

Anyway, an update on my New Year's resolution to stop procrastinating - it's not going very well. But my parents had a 'talk' with me earlier - yes, one of those - and we've devised a Plan Of Action. I'll share it in case it helps anyone in a similar situation.

Firstly, I'm to write all of the homework that is to be done up on what's supposed to be a whiteboard. What it actually is, is a laminated piece of blank paper taped to some cardboard, which is in turn taped to my shelf, and which I write on in wax crayon because the whiteboard marker I used to use ran out. This way, I can see what I've got to do, and have the satisfaction of erasing something off the list when I finish it, and visibly see the list shrinking.

Secondly, I'm to do my homework in a room other than my bedroom. It apparently confuses my subconscious to associate one room with more than one function, hence my brain thinks: "bedroom, comfy, relaxing, ooh look books, warm, sleep" etc and I get distracted, whereas I'm a lot less likely to do this in, say, the school library, because it's a place that my brain associates more with work than with relaxing.

I have also given myself another two resolutions. One is the get AAB/ABB and therefore get into uni (I have had two offers by now, and AAB is the requirement for one of them - which is absolutely terrifying), and this is basically there to remind me that this won't happen if I procrastinate (I wrote out my resolutions on a piece of paper, in big letters and in bright colours, and I stuck them on my wardrobe door). My third resolution is written in pencil and in small letters on that piece of paper on my wardrobe door, because it is definitely not a priority, however it is most certainly something I'd like to do this year. It is to finish a novel. By this, I mean a first draft. A full first draft. After all, I figure that I have a bit of a gap between finishing my exams and starting uni (or school again, if I fail and decide to retake the year), so I should have time to, hopefully, finally finish one of the ideas I've been slowly working on - sometimes on paper/on the screen, sometimes just in my head and in occasional notes that end up scattered everywhere so that I don't forget things, except that I still forget things anyway, because I forget what I did with the notes (see? no idea what my point is) - for the past year or more.

Wish me luck.

And, in conclusion, I still don't really know what I'm talking about. :)